Hello to my understanding and patient readers!
It is no secret I have been M.I.A. for a while. I understand how you must be feeling… The Walking Dead ended for the mid season break and I slipped into a terrible show hole that I assume feels like what you go through when I don’t write…..
If you’re still reading, please know I’m kidding. You have been too busy trying to find the Star Shower laser projection Christmas lights that are sold out in stores and cost quadruple on Amazon to notice me dropping the ball (You are not alone! With a nickname of “Star Shower Lazy Lights” promising the illusion of Christmas spirit at the expense of little to no effort, Mombies everywhere are raising a glass to this little Christmas miracle.).
If I were ever to imagine breaking a bone, I would think an awesome and inspiring story or lesson would accompany the incident. As I sit here, finger pecking away at my keyboard, I take a loathing look at the cast up to my forearm stained with the remnants of a month’s worth of toilet training, toddlers’ allergies confused by the unseasonable weather, and self tanner. This is caused by my attempt to protect myself from my husband and kids tickling me, and is a daily reminder that a bone can be broken at any time doing any silly, run of the mill thing. Six to eight weeks of this fiberglass hand prison with no amazing story to offset its unsightliness or uncleanliness. Ho. Ho. Ho.
So, my excellent Mombies, I’ll be back soon, finishing, with two working hands on a keyboard, drafts of my entries that I have hastily hands free talk-to-texted. Side note: Talk-to-text is extremely perverted and sometimes decides to translate dictation into different languages… or perverted words that I don’t know. Can’t be sure.
Enjoy the holidays and government-alarming warm weather, and (as always!) remember to drink the bulk of your wine out of sight at your family gatherings so they don’t talk about what a lush you are all through 2016.